One month now as Mrs. Moss

I like being married very much, so far. I'm getting used to saying that I am Mrs. Moss, or Jimmy's my husband, or saying "my husband likes..." and signing my new name, finally. It is very strange still, though. I'm also getting used to the rhythm of harvest season "down here in the valley" ...a term I heard at a community church in Carlton recently. For the last two weeks there has been a lot of harvesting going on. I know now what grapes look like when they are being hauled from a vineyard to a winery--they are in 3' by 4' plywood boxes which sit, open, on the back of a flat bed truck. Corn is also transported in the open air, as are squashes, though they are sometimes in dump-trucks! I drove behind this truck as it passed through Rickreall one day and I still have no idea what the cargo was--it looks like it's straight out of china--I would guess rice, but rice doesn't grow this far north, I don't think. One sack says "fine," so maybe it's scottish oats? grits?

I'm enjoying the more affordable (and fresher!) produce that I find at road side farm stands out in the country. I've found that the farm stands are wildly varied, and not always fresh, but I'm learning to discern between them. My family is fond of yellow summer squash, mushrooms, cabbage, carrots and broccoli, and some of us like sweet peppers too (me, Taj and Bailey). The farm stand next door to Taj's school is my favorite. They have about ten different kinds of sweet peppers. Here's a photo of their stand, taken in the rain....


I got a Harris Ranch chuck roast from my favorite healthy-ish grocery store in McMinnville today--Harris Ranch is apparently better than Carlton Farms--they are certified organic and grass fed, and Carlton Farms just goes on the honor system, according the deli manager at the store. I still want to go out and see Carlton Farms. They sell direct to the public and I think we could buy in bulk and save a little more. I'm not used to buying (or cooking) meat, but it accounts for 3/4 of the cost of every dinner we make, so I want to find a good value while looking for the best quality. Jimmy is just now wrapping up his final hunting trip today, and we didn't get as much meat this year as he did last year from hunting, so we'll need to buy quite a bit.... I'll let you know how my roast turns out. I made some pretty good Carlton Farms pork chops the other day!

I keep meaning to go to the local library. I've been to the Post Office--a friendly one compared to those I've frequented in Portland and San Francisco. I want to get the book "The Help" which my friend Emily is reading, so that I can read it and see the movie with her before it disappears from theaters. I am not a reader of fiction--not for ten years at least, but the slower pace out here makes me think I might could read a book of fiction, so I will try.

I still feel way more familiar with my work-town than I do my home-town. I think that making friends here in the home-town will help me to get to know it a little better. Last night I tried very hard to find some friends. I went to the college for a fundraiser that we had been invited to--I went all by myself! It was scary... And I made no new local friends at all. The people sitting with me at my table were from Clackamas and Sherwood. Oh well. At least I signed up to volunteer at my favorite kids camp this summer, in lieu of making a donation. The MC of the event was the pastor at the church that Jimmy and I will visit next. He is our age. It's weird to think of having a pastor that is my age or younger. I don't know how I feel about that.

After the unfruitful event last night I was home alone and feeling pretty lonely. Jimmy and the boys are in Sweet Home and Taj was with my mom in Seattle. I wanted to go over to my mother in law's house, but I didn't feel courageous enough after two hours of social anxiety at the college. I decided to listen to a Tim Keller sermon on my phone. That always cheers me up. The sermon I chose was so fitting. It was on Psalm 42: "As the dear pants for the water so my soul longs after thee... I long to worship thee (so why can't I???)" It was about feeling that God is far off. Dr. Keller drew out of the psalm that the writer was away from his community and was also leaning too hard on certain people in his life, and concluded that this is the kind of time that God feels far off... but isn't.

I'm really needing community here, and I'm leaning way hard on Jimmy for everything in terms of friendship and all kinds of other things.... it's good to know that I can't do a lot to change that right away, but that it's normal to feel far from God at such times, and to be reminded that my brain can tell my heart whats true--that God is not so far off. Bless you, Dr. Keller. You cheer me up every time!

Mrs Moss I am

Today is my first day of rest since the wedding. I have been longing for a sabbath!

A week ago Jimmy and I returned from our very blissful wedding trip. We took two nights to enjoy being married, staying out on the gorge, and then I had to get right to work as classes started at Western the day after our wedding. The wedding and the restful days following were so sweet, though we got very little sleep--our little log studio was a few yards from a very busy train line on the Washington side of the Columbia, and the trains would give four shrill blasts on their whistles just as they were passing, about every hour or so, all night the first night. I don't know if I've ever been more tired than I was after the wedding, so the trains were pretty frustrating, but we didn't let them get us down. We were so happy to be married. We were like little children, celebrating with grins, giggles, and cookies for breakfast--we forgot to bring any food with us--only cake and cookies, wine and sparkling cider from the wedding.

This week is the first week that the boys have been with us since we became a family. On their first night, Monday, I wanted to make a special meal to celebrate our family and harvest-time, so for the first time in many years, I made a roast. I had to get copies of the marriage licence at the County Clerk's office in McMinnville, so I stopped in at the sweet "fresh and local" grocery store downtown there, and got an apple and mushroom stuffed pork roast from Carlton Farms. I used Jimmy's meat thermometer which proved to be the best tool ever (I usually slow cook beef roasts, but didn't have time this time). It only took two hours to get to 170 degrees. The boys returned home, drenched from soccer games in the rain, to a warm and hearty meal. I cut up some acorn squash and put in it with the roast instead of potatoes, and it was very tasty. I splurged for some Reeds Ginger Apple Brew, which the boys love, and thawed some como bread from Grand Central Bakery in Portland, which they devoured. Success. I'm not a wicked step mom at all! Whew.

Taj had a couple rainy soccer games this week too. I told Jimmy "I'm sure her game will be cancelled" on Monday. He said "Katie, they don't cancel soccer games for rain." I didn't believe him, but he was right. I got to the private catholic school in Salem where Taj was to play and there were thirty parents, sitting in their camp chairs, each with his and her own umbrella overhead. Disturbing. I sat in the car. A whole new meaning to "soccer mom" has revealed itself and I am resisting still.

My drive through the country has not gotten old yet. I take new routes all the time as I get more familiar with the terrain. I finally started to count the wineries. There are 22 just from home to Taj's bus stop. Probably close to 60 by the time I reach Western. The first two I pass are Duck Pond and Argyle, but most are lesser known ones. I'm not a big fan of Duck Pond any more, since that's where the traffic gets bad on bad traffic days, which seem random other than Friday when everyone is headed to the beach that way from Portland and all its SW burbs.

Yesterday I thought I saw police lights flashing in the corner of my eye as I went through Amity--it turned out to be the red and silver two-sided reflective plastic tape that the arborists use to scare birds away at this time of year when the grapes are getting plump. The sun hit one piece of the stuff and it shone bright as it spun in the wind, and so it looked like a spinning red and white light for a second. My mind still has its urban leanings. ...Yesterday I saw a roadside yard-sign shaped sign that helped me to understand why I've seen so many hot air balloons in the last month. They are a club called the "Yamhill High Flyers". What fun!

My neck and back are a little sore these days--a combination of driving long drives and going out on the Willamette for a long kayak paddle with Jimmy this last Saturday. We bought a second kayak with some of our wedding gift money!

Highlights since my last post were: being with my beloved girlfriends for three solid days before the wedding--having fun in Portland and up the gorge, all the way from Edgefield to Maryhill. Images of the Columbia River, with all kinds of rainy, drizzley and sunny mountain backdrops. Talking with Heather in the pool at Edgefield about Taj and Jimmy and a hopeful future on the night of the rehearsal. Sitting in the candlelight with Em and our glasses of wine at the Chameleon with post traumatic-wedding-planning-and-waxing relief. Walking through a dark and dusty field with my 16 year old niece to her first big concert during a warm and windy lightning storm on the gorge the night before the wedding. Having my other niece rescue me from an awful hairdo right before the wedding. Sitting in a canoe with my brother, with tiny drops of water falling on the lake all around me and my childhood friend's violin playing Pachabel in the distance, and looking up at Jimmy waiting for me in in the wedding tent looking as peaceful as I felt. Being sung to by everyone who I love to be sung to by. Singing to everyone in return, with Dana and Vicki. Waking up with Jimmy. The smell of Dana's macaroons and brownies filling our cabin by the river. Waking up with Jimmy. Waking up with Jimmy. Waking up with Jimmy.....

Fall is here

I think that during the past few days the clouds came around to give the sun a little privacy so that she could change into her most dazzling outfit of all--a golden fall sheath. I rejoice every year when the light changes to gold and the air gets cooler the way they did today. I'm so excited that my wedding will be during this magical week of change.

I think I'm done with my essential planning and prep now. I finished the last big shopping trip today after going to the faculty and staff welcome reception at the college where I work. There are more and more students on campus every day now.

What an emotional time this is. I can barely keep track of all of the feelings that flit by. Sitting in church yesterday I found myself thinking "Wait--did I just remember something that worried me? What was it? I don't think I prayed about it." I'm really glad that I only have to work for two more days, and then I get to spend a couple of days with friends having fun before the wedding. Having fun doesn't require much concentration, and it is exhausting in a much more refreshing way than working at a new job is.

Jimmy may not be in the mood to get married if he doesn't get an elk in the next 24 hours. He hasn't gotten one yet, after a week trying, and he seems a little discouraged. He will be back from hunting just as I'm finishing up my work day on Wednesday probably, so I'll get to see him just before I head back to Portland for my "bachelorette" days.

He may have a little bit of a mess to clean up here at the house after the flurry of sewing and gluing and assembling that I've been up to, but I just ironed his and the boys' outfits for the wedding, so I guess he owes me a favor. His sister and dad moved our old couches away and our new couches in from the garage yesterday, so Jimmy will be surprised to see a snazzy new living room when he arrives. It's been hard to have him away for the past week, but it is sweet to miss each other so much right before the wedding too. I think it is good that he got some extended guy time and a week away to reflect on the coming changes.

I don't know if I'll be able to write much for the next week! This is where things get crazy! Prayers would be very appreciated.

Heart catches up with head a bit

The hot air balloons appeared again yesterday above Newberg! I wonder if they have made their way to Portland by now? Keep an eye out, friends!

Tonight, after finishing the wedding playlists, it started to sink in that I live here in this new house. I'm not just visiting. I've been telling Taj that we live here, with my mouth and my brain since Sunday, but my body and my heart seemed to catch up tonight. My response was a little mixed. I do feel at home here--lots of freedom and ownership (thanks Jimmy). But it is still a little foreign. I feel like a real grown up in this nice, new house. It isn't my usual thrown together or fixed up little apartment or cottage. It is so big that I can turn on the bathtub water, go downstairs to tuck Taj in, and forget about the water, because I can't HEAR it. I'm used to hearing everything. (No, I didn't flood the bathroom--not quite.)

Well, I suppose when you are going to be a newlywed with kids, it is a good thing when everyone can't always hear everyone else. So thank you Lord, for this nice new and spacious house. Thanks for the plants and the flowers that I have warmed it with, and for the good, fresh food that I was able to cook up tonight for the two of us.

Now on to the wedding programme. I am on a roll. Need to keep the momentum. And tomorrow is sewing day. Sewing tablecloths, a veil, a garter, a slip for the flower girl.... Me oh my, as my grandma would say, I have a lot to do!

Pretty things flying in the sky...

This was our great delight on the trip to school yesterday... four hot air balloons hovered close to the horizon over the hay and corn fields. You can only see two in the photo--they were all four very low. I have no idea what a hot air balloon expedition was doing out at quarter to eight on a Monday morning, but it sure did cheer me up. We had missed the bus due to Dundee traffic.

Dundee traffic is the bain of my new life, I must say. Normally we make it past Dundee, to downtown Dayton, where I pass by the old brick church where my dad was interem pastor for a year when I was five. That's where T is supposed to catch her bus. But if we miss it, we go another 15 minutes South. Those balloons were worth an extra 15 minutes!

Taj had her first soccer match yesterday, and to my great surprise, she played half of the game! She has only played soccer for one week now, so I thought she'd be on the bench the whole time. I was very proud of her willing attitude, and impressed with her coach for praising her so much. I hadn't even attended a soccer match before. I got there on time, and parents were trickling in, setting up camp chairs all along the painted line in the grass that designated the side of the playing field. I sat down in my skirt, in the dry grass (luckily it was a thick skirt) and smiled at toddlers who toddled by--they were the only ones at my eye level.

I have been shy around strangers since birth, which many of my friends would never guess, but these social situations with parents and sports are the worst for me. I definitely don't identify with soccer moms. I was so proud of myself for turning and speaking to a parent who came along and sat behind me.... but it didn't turn out very well. She was intesely cheering for her son, who I assumed was a daughter because it sounded like the name "Isa" which I thought I knew from Dora the explorer, and I always thought Isa was a girl.... My first mistake was distracting the woman from her son's moves, and then I assumed out loud that he was a girl. I don't know if she moved to another part of the field to get away from me or the sun, but I'm hoping it was the sun. So I have not really fully met another parent yet, and school is one week in session now. Next time I will bring my sand chair. That will get me a little closer to being at the parents eye level.

They won the match. Now that I know that T gets to play, I guess I'll start inviting family and friends to come watch, but middle school soccer is not really that fun to watch, to be honest. Jazz band concerts are much more interesting. I think the Timbers must be a lot more fun. We'll have to go to a match some time. I wonder if their season is up?

Today I made my first trip to the Farmer's Market that just started up about six blocks from our house. We got: three summer squash, a bunch of spinach, four apples, three dahlias and the last little green pint of orange cherry tomatoes. So yummy! All for about five bucks! Portland can't beat that!

Speaking of pretty things in the sky, I was sad to have to turn down an invitation to see the swifts in Portland tomorrow night. I've not yet done so many things in Portland, after so many years. Maybe next year. For now, I have one week and one day to organize and sew things in preparation for my wedding. I'm excited to see it all come together. And I think it will, even though one of my helpers had to leave the country suddenly yesterday to see her mother in law, who is ill.

Final good news of the day: I am thrilled to hear from my friend Ami in Dallas that she has a friend who is a musician and a gardener who lives in my new town!!! So thrilled. I have a feeling that any friend of Ami's is bound to be a friend of mine, if she has time for a new friend. This is really good news. The only friend I have here right now is soon to move away, unless you count the pastor who is doing our pre-marital counseling and my future mother in law, who really are friend-like, thankfully.

Wedding Guilt and a Quaker Church

Today is two weeks to my wedding. Weddings always come with guilt I think... even if you elope. We tried to elope, but that would have been so full of guilt, we couldn't even entertain the thought. We would have taken a few people with us even. And now we're having a wedding that seems huge to me--a hundred people! ...but there are so many people that I haven't invited. That makes me feel guilt.

Happily, I found a church today where I feel at home. That is so nice, and so good for my guilt. My sweetie left to go hunting for ten days early this morning, and I was watching his boy while my mom watched my girl, and so me and his boy, Bailey, who is nine, went to this new church where I've been going for pre-marital counseling. I'd been there for church twice before, but I didn't really get to know anyone or speak to any people before. Today Bailey and I spoke to many people, and it felt natural and easy. Having a kid with you helps a lot if you want to try to get to know people. Kids are so much easier for strangers to talk to, I think. They sang a song about peace, and the woman who does our counseling was the speaker--she talked about John the Baptist a little, and then the congregants kind of took the sermon and made it deeper and richer with their contributions--a Quaker thing. Quakers get to chime in on sermons, after a brief period of quiet. They were very insightful people. I've considered myself Quaker for a while now, but never had found a church that felt like home. So today was a very good day.

Yesterday was a good day too. It was my bridal shower day. The first gift I opened was beautiful--it was a bird feeder gazebo made by Amishfolk. So fitting for my new country life. And since we're talking about Amish and Quakerfolk, I should say that my cashier at the Grocery Outlet today had a scarf over her head that made her look Mennonite. She wasn't. She was a Messianic Jew--my other favorite denomination. We were still talking when she was done ringing the next guy. Only in the country does THAT happen.

Finally, a good thing to note about today is that I am in my future husband's bed and about to go to sleep here now all by myself. Feels weird, but since I gave my own bed to Catholic Charities over a week ago, it is nice to belong in a bed again.